Of course by now, we’ve all heard of the John Edwards story and all of the fall out. A wife who has passed away, children in mourning and a husband without a wife. Of course by now, we’ve all created our own opinions. Of course by now, we can guess which side those opinions are swayed towards.
How about looking at life from a different perspective for once.
No. we are not John Edwards, the politician, supporter.
No. we are not John Edwards, decision maker, supporter.
We are however John Edwards, man in a relationship supporter.
Let’s look at some of the story. A man is in a relationship, fact. The woman that he is in a relationship with wasn’t attending to his needs, fact. Now, basic logic, regardless of creed, gender or preference is that if one is not happy in their relationship, they will assuredly find it elsewhere.
It’s no different than you at home. You’re not happy with the way your relationship has progressed. You’re not happy with the direction of the relationship. You’re not happy with the sex life of the current relationship. It’s only natural that you take a outward look at ways to be happy.
Sure, he may have been selfish.
Sure, his timing may be abhorrent.
But…
The obvious fact of the situation, is that he isn’t as big a villain as we’d like to make him out to be. He’s a man that made a bad decision at a bad time. Just like some of us have.
So I ask RR readers, what are your thoughts on this situation? Were his actions warranted?
You know there is more to this story. Mr.Edwards had one of this aides lie for him on this story. Had the aide fall on his sword for him, deny it and then finally fessed up. Now granted his needs were not being met. Mrs. Edwards had cancer probably could not perform they way he wanted. But he is the villain, because he used his aide, his wife, his political connects to cover up a his dirt while he tried to pursue a run at being president. I would not look at him bad, had he just came out and told her that, he's not being fulfilled and can we work on it. The problem is not leaving it's how he left. He left with no honor or integrity. He made vows to her about the conditions of the relationship. He said for better or worse and sickness/health. He said that. He broke his words, therefore displayed some scumbag behavior in how he did with his wife. If it's all about your "happiness" then we need to change what's said wedding ceremonies and we need to be explicit about the conditions of being in a relationship with another. If man/woman knew if this things goes bad I'm going to cheat, then more then likely Elizabeth would not have married him. I know feelings change and situations, but communicate that. Relationships are easy things to be in, as longs as everybody is transparent with each other. The problem is we say one thing and do a next, we are liars and in this age of free sex, why do we even cheat in the first place.
ReplyDeleteOK, under normal circumstances, normal being his wife is not dying with terminal cancer, I would agree with everything this story is saying. However, this goes beyond not getting your needs met. She was not ABLE to meet his needs at that particular time not because she didn't want to but because she was DYING. There is a difference! Clearly something Mr. Edwards could not grasp.
ReplyDeleteNot only that, but it wasn't a once or twice fling, he had a relatinship and CHILD with this other woman all while his wife is battling cancer.
Did he make a bad choice? YES. Do I understand the circumstances? YES! But does it make him any less of a pig becuase his needs weren't being met by his DYING wife? HELL NO!!
Is he being villianized, YES...but guess what? If you act like a villian you get treated like one!
Let's put this in it's proper perspective. Liz wasn't diagnosed with breast cancer until 2004, and Ed didn't step out until 2007. They were married 30 yrs, before Ed stepped out, so it's safe to say that they were getting it in prior to this, I mean they have 4 kids. I don't agree with what he did, nor how he did it, but I understand.
ReplyDeleteI understand too, but he could have left or separated prior to the affair. Believe me, I know it's a lot more complicated then that. Most men never see it coming, they really don't. While I'm sympathetic to John, he could have came clean and just said sorry before the attempted cover up. That's what most your post ignores. John also lives in the public, and therefore was tried in the court of public opinion.
ReplyDeleteThe kicker here is of a rather simple context. Anyone not happy will venture out and find happiness. Now whether or no he has the moxy to break up with the woman and seperate or try to do things undercover is another story. Sure, her situation is dire, grave even. Sure its difficult for her to "manage" her relationship under these circumstances. However, once again, regardless of reason, she clearly wasn't managing the relationship. Villainous? The only way i can see him as a villian is if you spell villian V-I-C-T-I-M.
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